I was checking Facebook on my phone and saw a Facebook status written by someone who was in my class in Year 7. 'Life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning how to dance in the rain'. Having our current situation in mind, I got mad. Not at the guy who posted the status, HAHA. Just at the quote. Because right now, waiting for the storm to pass is all I can do. It's all we can do. There's no dancing in the rain. Being in jail is the best thing I can compare my situation in. I feel like I'm entrapped in my own house. I'm not allowed to go out with my friends anymore because my parents said so. I don't really know why, but my sister thinks it's because they think I'm making it obvious that I don't wanna be left alone with my grandparents. Well, reality is, I don't. Spend time with them? All they do all day is sit on the couch in our living room and watch Filipino dramas all day and night. And either way, even if they weren't here in Australia, I'd still be going out with my friends instead of staying at home on the computer all day long.
Anyway. Now that a little bit of time has passed and I've allowed everything to marinate in me, I think that quote is true. To a certain extent though. I think in most situations, it is about learning how to dance in the rain instead of waiting for things to get better. But for example, if you were a physical abuse victim, there probably is no dancing in the rain. You either call the police, or someone else calls the police, and wait for things to get better. Don't get me wrong. I don't wanna compare my situation to something as horrible as physical or sexual abuse. It doesn't even come close. But the thing is, for situations like these, there's nothing else to do but wait. Yeah, it's a good thing to learn to dance in the rain, but what's wrong about learning how to wait too?
I think right now, this is the main thing God is teaching me from this sucky, sucky, unfortunate situation. How to wait. Patience. Because maybe, sometimes dancing in the rain is too hard. I still believe that there's always two sides to everything, positive and negative, but once in a blue moon, the positives are too small to hold on to it and have faith in. It feels like the negatives outweigh the positives.
Patience is not such a bad thing, I guess. But to better the situation of this patience, I gotta have faith. Right now, I cannot think of any other positives that can better than negatives in our situation. There is nothing. There was; having more of an excuse to spend time outside home with my friends. But that's not valid anymore. The only positive thing that secretly outshines the negatives is God. Just knowing that for my particular situation, waiting it out is not that bad. Because He'll be there. So, whenever it feels like the negatives outweigh the positives in a certain situation, think of God. He may as well be the only constant positive in every situation.
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I don't like having my privileges at home being taken away from me and my sister. We can't watch TV anymore. We can't eat the foods that we like. All that stuff. And it feels really painfully stiffling having your so-called rights ignored like that, especially since we live here. And my grandma seems to be so ignorant of the fact that she's the guest here and this is our house. It's as if she believes that we owe it to her to serve her and wait on her hand and foot since we allowed her to live here for the past two months. But it just occurred to me a few minutes ago. This is how we treat God. He blesses every person in this world and we take advantage of it. The majority of this world even live their lives everyday shunning His existence and even bad-mouthing Him. Yet even those who don't believe have a reason to be happy everyday, even if it's small, which is given by Him.
I feel like this is so similar to our family's situation, especially my parents and not really me. My parents had put out almost $2000 all up for my grandmother and she shows nothing long of thankfulness to them. My sister can't even buy a Mac book (she needs it for school) because we've already spent so much money on her. That was supposed to be my sister's Christmas gift, so she actually got nothing for Christmas last year. We've given her everything to make her living here, even if it's just for three months, comfortable than the life they have in the Philippines, yet she takes advantage of it by ignoring our home privileges and even rights. She repays us with no gratefulness or thankfulness whatsoever. But don't you think this is what we're like with God? Yes, even the Christians out there. We like the feeling we get when we're in sync with Him. We either follow Him or not. But when bad times come, that's when we take advantage of Him and say 'I don't care anymore, I give up because giving up is easy.' However, for those who don't believe, I know for a fact that they're still blessed in their lives. I know many unbelievers and have many unbeliever friends who are still blessed in this life even when the only opinion they have of God and His existence is 'up Yours!' I think this is how my grandma is.
But no matter what, even if people are like this towards Him, God never turns their back on them. He does have the right to get hurt and give up, like what I feel towards our family issues. But He doesn't. He still loves His people, and continues to provide. The main calling for us Christians is to reflect who God really is to the world. This means that I have to do the same as what He does. Yes, I have to clean up after them. Yes, it's me and my sister who have to iron their own clothes and fold them. Yes, we have to give up our TV for them despite the fact that we haven't watched real Australian TV in almost three months. I'm not gonna say that they're good things and that they should happen. They suck. But in this case, it doesn't matter. For me, reflecting a Christlike character to people, even the annoying ones, is more important.
So.
- I'm still gonna wait it out. Having already two months to see if the situation will get better (and it didn't), the only way this will really get better if when they leave to go back to the Philippines.
- Yes. It's all unfair how our
homefeels so entrapping. They've taken everything we have in this home except for my bed. But this isn't the way God would react. He wouldn't stop loving, giving and living even when He has all the reasons to get hurt and give up because giving up is easier to the heart. Our family's only going through with this with two people. He's going through with this with about 12 billion people.
Long post, but it felt good to write it! I ran out of pages in my previous diary and I need to buy a new one so I really got nowhere to jot down my thoughts! Well, you know what they say; blogs aren't about being read. It's about being written! :P
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