Surviving on mobile internet

Because my laptop's charger broke, meaning that my laptop is practically redundant now, I've been surviving on mobile internet for about a week now.

Anyway, that's not the main purpose of this post. The point is, I thought optimism, patience and hope was enough. As of yet, I've not discussed the current state of my home and family life, but I'll begin by briefly stating it in point form, so the overall loss-of-hope theme in this post will be easily followed:

• Paternal grandparents are here in Australia, living under our roof, since the end of the HSC exams to when university starts. In essence, a very long time.
• Prior Christmas, everything was fine and dandy. Except for the fact that our house felt tighter, uncomfortable and my sister and I felt like we couldn't even watch in our own living room anymore because our grandmother hogged the TV all day long even though she'd fall asleep half the time.
• About a week before our long-planned trip to Queensland, scheduled on Boxing Day to New Year's, that's when my grandmother stared acting up. She's very old, meaning that she is quite sickly (which is understandable; she is old), but she's also extremely needy and bossy towards my dad and grandfather. We've warned them previously that we'll be away in between Christmas and New Year's to Queensland before they came over here, but they didn't care. Now that we were about to leave, she started acting up and eventually got sick from it. 
• She was rushed to the hospital, and because their travel insurance didn't cover existing sickness, we had to pay around $1000 per night for her stay there. And we were almost not going to go to Queensland because of it. A trip we planned since the beginning of last year and already pre-paid for, cancelled a week before the actual trip due to an ignorant and negative action.
• We ended up going to Queensland anyway. But it didn't get any better. As soon as we arrived at the hotel, my grandmother was, yet again, sick. At the hospital. For the following week, my dad's aunt and his siblings kept annoying him to come home already, even when my grandfather tried to tell him not to worry. We eventually had to go home a couple of days earlier than we wanted, and so did all our family friends who came with us, because we couldn't stay any more longer.
• I thought that by the time my dad was home again, things will get noticeably better. But no. My grandmother was still lying in bed all day, up all night because she can't go to sleep. She was again rushed to the hospital when I went to USYD's Info Day. Now, she's a bit better, but she's back to her old routine of watching the Filipino channel on our TV all day long.
• My parents have been so strained from working, then coming home not to rest, but to take care of her, that my dad, from all the stress, even got sick too. He passed it on to my mum, who passed it on to my sister. (I'm pretty shocked that I didn't get sick because I'm always the one who's sick!)
• The thing that annoys me the most about my grandparents being here, my grandmother in particular, is that this is supposed to be a holiday overseas for them. Yet she sits around watching TV all day long (and half of the time, she's asleep anyway) when she does the exact same things in the Philippines. My grandfather is still strong and healthy, and he can and wants to explore Australia more than her, but she won't let him leave her and gets mad when I offer to take him to places. 
• The other thing that annoys me is that my parents and our family should not be stressing like this about having relatives over for some period of time. We've done it before. Four years ago, my mum's sister and her family (her husband plus two kids) stayed at our house for, from what I can recall, two months, yet it was never ever this stressful. They were rich folks in the Philippines, yet they didn't make things hard for us.
• Before, I was annoyed at my grandparents coming here during that long-awaited and yearned-for post-HSC holiday because all my expectations for that holiday were now all gone, but that doesn't even matter to me anymore. Those epicfailed expectations are nothing compared to the strain and stress my family and our home and going through right now.

So, amongst all the stress, my sister and I had a fight this morning. Because she had to give up her room for my grandparents, she's making more mess in my room more than ever. I hate mess. If there is one thing I don't regret using the word 'hate' for, it's mess. So, I admit, it was partly my fault because I yelled at her due to the loss of self-control and the fact that April doesn't listen to anything but serious screaming, about her finding a storage box to put all her mess in instead of having them strewn all over my desk and table. She started crying and started yelling at me that when she asks mum for a storage box, she doesn't know anything. I wanted to say more and finish my point by stating that she can't just always rely on mum, but she wouldn't let me finish. I caved in and said I'll look for a storage box for her myself, but she walked out of our house. Now I don't know where April is.


My mum told me I shouldn't have yelled at her. I admit. I still think I was making a notable point in what I said, but I yelled just a little bit too loud. My mum reminded me of how sensitive she can be, especially when I tell her off because no one really takes her side and understands her in our house except me. Then all of the sudden, I'm against her in something. But I don't think it was entirely the yelling and the thing I said that offended her. Maybe a bit, but I don't think that's the entire reason why she stormed out. I think the crying and the storming out were results of her stress released over the current state of our home and family life.

Okay, to be honest, I don't really know what the main point of this post is. I just needed to release my feelings in a thorough and organised way by writing it all in an organised and eloquent way. Just ranting, really. But I just keep hoping that there's a light at the end of the tunnel. I just keep praying and hoping. Maybe things won't get better circumstance-wise, but I'm hoping I'll receive the never-ending optimism and patience I yearn for for the next month and a half.